Oh to be Noticed

I fought a brutal battle against feeling insignificant for years. It culminated on a cold night a few years ago while I was sitting on a curb, in my neighborhood, with my dog. I came to realize that evening that I was significant because my Heavenly Father chooses to spend time with me.

My revelation came from space. Not outer space, but realizing that since no one else—not the dog that was sitting between my legs, nor my dear wife with whom I sleep—can occupy the same time and space that I do. I’m singular. Others can be close, but they can’t be completely integrated into where I am.

Therefore, no one occupies the same place in time and space that I do… except for my heavenly Father who lives in me. This makes me significant. Singular. Important. Noticed. Valuable.

I’m significant by virtue of the fact that God spends time alone with me.

God could be anywhere. Everywhere. And He is. But more importantly, He is in me, where I am, and no one else is there in a similar manner. They can’t be. This makes me singularly significant.

Significance and recognition—the subject of my thoughts on that cold night some time ago, and once again during these dog days of summer—are not synonyms. Father God resolves my need to be significant by connecting with me, and with me alone, in my space and time and place.

But recognition is different. Of course, God also recognizes, e.g., “Well done, good and faithful servant,” but I believe He intends for those around us to play a part in our recognition.

Herein is the problem.

God is dependable and absolutely faithful, and I wish the same could be said for humanity. But we are human, fatally flawed, and undependable. When humanity is introduced into the equation, you should expect disappointment. A friend remarked yesterday, “Humans are hardly predictable or dependable.” My friend is correct.

You need to be recognized. To be sure, you won’t die without it, but you will suffer without it. Analogously, you need to be touched, but you won’t die without it. Like your need to be touched, you need to be recognized, and while Father is sufficient to carry you forward with or without touch, He is sufficient to carry you forward with or without recognition. So, you are okay in the long run, but a lack of recognition leaves you feeling vulnerable and deprived.

While significance is so essential to your wellbeing that God says He will take personal responsibility for it, managing recognition—being noticed—is a tricky business.

The battle for recognition is not as clearly defined as the battle for significance.

There are those aspects of life that Father deems so important that He singularly takes care of them. Your significance is one of these essential needs. Then there are aspects of life that God partners with us to achieve, e.g., recognition.

Significance: You matter. You have existential importance established by God.

Recognition: You did a good job. You achieved, accomplished; someone noticed and remarked.

That you are significant is established by God. Recognition, on the other hand, is a dance you perform with others and recognize for each other.

If others recognize you, you are happy. If others do not recognize you, your eyes water tears and your soul suffers offense. But here’s the deal: Your significance is unchanged.

Note: To read more about how your significance is established by God and contested by your enemies, may I refer you to my novel, No Mercy. You can find it here.