Persistent or abrasive? 

To persist is to endure, persevere, resolve, to make a determination; to persist is to live with grit.  

To be abrasive is to make raw, corrode, wear-down, chafe, grind.  

On the one hand, I could argue that any distinction between these two words is splitting hairs.

The grit of perseverance could also be the 60-grit sandpaper that abrades your skin and makes it raw. 

I could also argue that the distinction is one of degree. If you persevere too long, you wear-down others, corrode relationships; your grit grinds me into submission.  

I could also argue that persistence and abrasiveness are synonymous. Leave it at that. Move along. Nothing to see here.  

“Abrasive” does not appear in Scripture. “Irritate” appears once in the passage where Peninnah, Hannah’s counterpart among Elkanah’s two wives, provoked Hannah “…bitterly to irritate her…” because Hannah couldn’t have children. Hannah was also her husband’s favorite, but I will leave the matter of a woman scorned for another article.  

To persevere or endure, on the other hand, appears in Scripture almost a hundred times. Examples of those who persist are numerous.  

The Book of Romans states that God gives us perseverance to facilitate our unity (cf. 15:5-7).  

So, perseverance is a good quality in that it is God-given and can be used to promote unity. Abrasiveness, not so much.  

But we can all say with certainty, there is a point when admirable persistence becomes irritatingly abrasive. There is a point when determination becomes counterproductive, a juncture where resolve chafes, wears-down, and becomes corrosive. In business terms, there are occasions when investment turns into a sunk cost?  

The tech gods placed me on their “do not trend” list.

Persistence has carried me up and over Paradise Divide on my bicycle—and back down in ensuing darkness, sleet, and cold. Persistence has guided me through failure—and successful innovation. It coaches me through the relentless physical pain I suffer. Persistence overcame the prevaricating of State Farm Insurance to pay our water-damage claim and persistence restored the ministry account that delivers my articles to you after the tech gods cancelled me for offering biblical perspective on social issues dear to them. I irritated the insurance adjuster and my agent with my persistence. The tech gods placed me on their “do not trend” list. My perseverance seems to have been abrasive.  

Are these instances of perseverance godly or are they unchristian?

With deliberate forethought, Jesus braided a whip and then used it to drive the money-changers out of the temple. But in His most famous sermon, he denounced the determination of an eye-for-an-eye and instructed us to turn the other cheek. If sued, that we settle for an amount greater than is named in the suit (cf. Mt. 5:38-40).  

Was it unchristian to persist in getting my money from State Farm Insurance—about $180,000—or should I have smiled, turned, and simply thanked God that there was money in retirement to cover our loss?  

Not enough persistence—you’re beaten. Too much persistence—you are abrasive.  

“What demarcates persistence from abrasiveness?” I prayed one evening as I walked the hood. Thoughts came that sounded like His voice.  

Abrasiveness has embedded in it self-reliance, desperation, and demand—all driven by the fear that if I’m unsuccessful, I will be conquered. A failure. I will be less than the insurance company, a pawn of the tech gods, a victim too weak to protect myself. I will be defeated, defined by loss. Conversely, even if it takes abrasiveness, I can succeed and win.  

Adopting abrasiveness as the means to my desired end embraces the belief that I am defined by outcome. Lose and I no longer matter. Abrasiveness is justified.  

Persistence believes I am untouched by outcome. Since I am accepted by my Father in heaven, and this acceptance is sealed by the Spirit of God, my identity is secured. This arrangement is mine by agreement between the Trinity of God.   

Given this, I am free to bring every resource—physical, intellectual, emotional, willful, spiritual—to the task at hand. There is no cause to leverage myself upward, driven by fear and motivated by self-reliance, believing I’ll be a better man if I win the desired outcome—or a lesser man if I don’t.  

Persistence is bringing all I am and possess into life’s arena—all the time—confident I am secure in Christ. Being all in is a good definition for persistence.

That this ruination occurs is wrong!

 

When do I become abrasive? When I leverage and overstate and posture from the belief that I will be better or worse dependent upon the outcome. Attach your identity to persistence and you are in danger of being abrasive.  

Over the last years, the cancel culture has reduced my subscribed reading audience from many, many thousands to a known readership of four figures. Am I beaten? Did the tech gods ruin the ministry platform my folks, staff, and I trusted God to build over the course of three decades? My books don’t see the light of day, blocked by the “do not trend” list. Have the tech gods won?  

The numbers don’t lie. Revenue into Lifetime Ministries is a fraction of what it once was. Book purchases are a fraction of what they were. Distribution and readership of my articles is down by thousands.  

What to do?  

And the reason I’m writing to you…

What do you do about the ruin, offense, dismissal, unfairness—whatever disrespect is compromising your viability, wellbeing, and significance? The entire enterprise of hell has as their singular objective to diminish your viability as a human being. God says you are like the pearl of great price that He gives everything to possess. Hell says you are worthless, do not matter, and have no existential significance.  

We are both hearing similar accusations. What do we do?  

First, let’s be crystal clear: You are secure. Remember Jesus’ exhortation in John 14:20: “In that day, you will know that I am in my Father, you are in me, and I am in you.” For anything to touch you, it first has to pass through God and through Jesus to get to you—and when this occurs, whatever the circumstance, power, or person may be, it finds you filled with Jesus. Rock ‘n roll!  

Second, you persevere.  

Persistence comes from God, meaning: Perseverance is developed under His supervision. It filters through everything that comprises you: your character, skills, talents, abilities, training, and experiences in concert with your resolute determination to trust God and rely upon the Holy Spirit.  

Now the numbers are off—way off.

Among other things, this means your display of perseverance is unique to you. Mine is unique to me. Put us together—you, and you, and you, and you, and me, and the rest—and look out! Now you have secure individuals, known to God and encompassed within God, filled with Jesus, persisting together in the power of the Spirit, addressing whatever we face. 

Persistence is not passive. You are not a hollow tube that Jesus funnels through. God invites you to join Him in His endeavors, not because He needs what you bring to the table, but because you are important to Him and He wants you to experience His life demonstrated in the midst of your experience.  

Here’s how this works for me: Once upon time, there were big numbers inside Lifetime Ministries (aka, PHG). Lots of measurable ministry, potential listening audience, readership, sales of product, ROI from segments of the database, etc. Then, both Lifetime and PHG were attacked. Now the numbers are off—way off.  

How do I think about this?  

In the previous paragraph there is an assumption that numbers are important to God. If the numbers are off, then ministry is diminished, God is compromised, and whatever is important to Him is jeopardized.

Is that assumption true?  

Nope. Can’t be or God’s sovereignty is a pseudo attribution of divinity.  

There is another assumption: The better the numbers, the more effective, important, valuable, and significant is the work I’m doing—and not just me, but you as well. Whether its jousting with the insurance company, the tech gods, selling cars, practicing law, washing windows, or raising kids, the assumption is that numbers are a reliable indicator of success.  

Same question: Is this assumption true?  

An investor would say, “Yes.” The better the ROI (return on investment), the better the work being done. The banker, accountant, partner, and customer agree. God? Not so much.  

While you work hard to please these shareholders, and can measure their satisfaction on a spreadsheet, Scripture counsels you to do your work as unto God (cf. Col. 3:23). Therefore, the question is: Can you measure God’s satisfaction on the same spreadsheet?  

They play checkers, God plays multi-dimensional chess.

Maybe. But maybe not. Is God less than satisfied with my writing and teaching today than He was prior to being cancelled by the tech gods? Is His kingdom threatened by reduced numbers? Was God’s blessing of Lifetime greater—as evidenced by greater numbers—prior to being cancelled than it is today with fewer numbers?  

You see where I’m headed. So, is God interested in numbers? You bet He is. But do numbers define God’s satisfaction or blessing? Sometimes perhaps, but not usually.  

God is interested in faithful relationship with you. He’s interested in advancing, forming, developing—and by definition, solidifying your standing with Him and His with you. Numbers may serve that purpose. Numbers may not. While the tech gods, et al, attempt to quash and suppress, they fail to realize they are contending against God, not bullying me. They play checkers, God plays multi-dimensional chess.  

Your job and mine? Faithfully persevere, knowing we do so as confident, secure people.  

When you persevere, you are not doing it to succeed, per se. You persevere because that’s who you are. Perseverance is how you step into the circumstance you are facing.  

But should you lose your focus, all that’s left is for you to cower with intimidation or turn to abrasive aggression. Your wellbeing is at stake.  

Should this happen, there is a remedy: repentance. You stop, apologize, turn around, recollect your wits about you, and fix your eyes on what Jesus has asked you to be about (cf. Heb. 12:2).  

Stay focused. Keep your wits about you.

Updates: Tony Clark has hosted Frank Friedmann and me on another podcast. You can watch here. Also, don’t forget that Rigorous Grace: Practicing the Life of Jesus, is updated and available here.