Keeping Up
My pace has been slower the last few months. Whereas I used to post an article every week or ten days, lately it has been an article every three or four weeks.
My soul is consumed processing. As you know, several years ago we endured a forced remodel of our home. What’s going on in my soul is like that, sort of. I’ve been in this position before, just not as a writer.
It is my intent to write about my reordering—my experience of God rebooting my view, values, and disposition. It’s good, but it’s new. I’m amazed with the freshness and freedom I have, but it’s so sweeping and fundamental that I don’t yet have words to describe it properly.
As a writer, I thrive on words. They are how I think, conceptualize, understand, and confidently express myself. The words are in the air I breathe and the atmosphere around me. Selecting the right, next word to describe what I see is writing. The more I do this, the easier and better I get at my craft.
It’s not that the words are gone, but that I can’t correlate the words I know to the reengineering God is doing in me. For you, this means I’m slower than you are used to in producing articles. For me, my thoughts are a storm, a tempest of stimuli, a divine outpouring that has left me wordless with voluminous realizations. My pace will increase, but not until I’m confident in my content. So, I beg your patience please.
Next, a personal glimpse from Inauguration Day, January 20, 2025.
For the majority of the USA, it was a day of celebration. For the minority, it signaled by some accounts the end of the country. We will see. America’s founders created an amazing checks-and-balances in our government that have stood the tests of time, incompetence, attack, intrigue, and an historic run that distinguishes us as one of the greatest nations of human civilization.
As is customary on this day, the newly installed POTUS escorts the now-former POTUS from the Capitol Building to a waiting helicopter to be taken away so the transfer of power is unimpeded. Much is made of the fact that the helicopter is no longer designated Marine One. Rather, it is designated, “Special Air Mission.” The helicopter is only Marine One if the President is on board.
The man who targeted Lifetime Ministries by weaponizing the IRS against it is also gone.
I watched President and Mrs. Trump walk President and Mrs. Biden to the helicopter. Then, I observed the helicopter rise and exit over Washington, DC. As the craft departed America’s seat of power, I was ambushed with unexpected emotion. I began sobbing and heaving with grief, and relief, pent-up anger, resentment, joy, and release.
The man, and those in his wake, who permitted and facilitated my professional ruin, who targeted the organization I run, and who blacklisted my name; the man who has caused me years of suffering, loss, and financial compromise by weaponizing the Federal government against me to secure his political power, flew away on a helicopter whose name designated he was no longer in power and no longer had the power to hurt me.
Furthermore, when the outbound “Special Air Mission” chopper lifted off, President Obama’s tether to presidential power was also severed. The man who targeted Lifetime Ministries by weaponizing the IRS against it is also gone.
Last night President Trump signed Executive Orders ending the weaponization of government and reestablishing freedom of speech. I read the text of the EO this morning and wept.
It’s finally over. The ruin remains, but at least the progressive targeting is concluded.
I have no plans to disassemble the security measures I’ve put in place. Not all my enemies are gone. Just yesterday, President Trump confronted the CEO of Bank of America for his wrongdoing against those who don’t share his ideology. It was his bank that attempted to drain our financial accounts. When I changed banks, I also overhauled our security structures. Perhaps in time I won’t feel the compulsion to reassess them, refine them, and randomize them on a regular basis.
Today, my resolve is unchanged apart from tears of relief. Just as was my determination before Joe Biden was whisked away on the “Special Air Mission” chopper, I plan to, “Go out in the world and work like money doesn't matter, sing as if no one is listening, love as if I have never been hurt, and dance as if no one is watching” (Victor Hugo).
Psalm 27 has been a touchstone passage for the last several months. It took time for my conviction to match my faith, but the psalm’s opening declaration became my mantra: “The Lord is my light and my salvation; / Whom shall I fear? / The Lord is the defense of my life; / Whom shall I dread?”
In time and under duress, the psalm’s tentacles secured the disparate factions into which my soul had fractured. Eventually, I secured sufficient embrace of the passage’s benefits to regain momentum:
Teach me Your way, O Lord,
And lead me in a level path
Because of my foes.
Do not deliver me over to the desire of my adversaries,
For false witnesses have risen against me,
And such as breathe out violence.
I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord (27:11-14).
The last four years have been mighty dark. I might have despaired had I not known the security of my identity in Christ and my place in Father’s heart. One of my significant gains has been understanding the goodness of God with enough clarity to undergo a seismic shift in my ability to trust God. This transformation has been a long time coming and is welcome. After all, is not all sin rooted in a mistrust of God’s goodness?
However, when I attempt to describe this internal revolution, words fail me. I suspect Father is seasoning, and marinating, and establishing His work in my soul before He allows me to reduce it to words. “Wait” the psalm states twice.
Protect him from taking your glory.
Who knows if the delivery mechanisms broken by censorship will return to normal? It appears delivery of “Everyday Grace” has done so. Maybe that’s a hopeful sign.
Still, if you are curious about delivery of my articles, you can reliably go to PrestonGillham.com and look under the “Blog” tab to discover the latest. If you do so and find I have not written in a while, know that I’m “waiting” until the words match what I need to relay. I won’t write to you because I’m supposed to. I will write to you when I have a message for you.
I would appreciate you praying for me. I’m doing okay, but this is a personal restructuring unlike any other time in my life save one. I’ll tell you more about that soon.
Finally, as I have done for past presidents at their inauguration, including Joe Biden, let me offer a prayer of blessing for President Trump before I let you go:
Father God: I bring Donald J. Trump to you and ask your blessing on him. He is persuaded that you spared his life by a millimeter for the express reason of serving your higher purpose. As you always do, Father, I pray you redeem his awareness of you and achieve your ends.
Protect him from taking your glory. Grant him wisdom, the humility to recognize and receive wise counsel, and the clarity to act according to the understanding you grant to him.
Protect him as well from those actively seeking to take his life. Help him facilitate your work and the platforms you desire to use in advancing your causes. Remind him that he is not in office to establish a kingdom but to facilitate the advancement of yours. I place Donald Trump into your hands, Father God. In Jesus’ name, Amen